You know when you end a relationship that meant something and you hurt for a long time and you hope the other person hurts as bad too!! I know thats wrong in every way but i have felt that way for a while....
Today, i found out that i what i had thought all along was wrong.... My crazy ex and his ex (before me), apparently got together a couple of months after we broke up right under my nose.... Uhh!!! How could he?
I am so mad right now, i can hardly put it into words, i know i need some kind of therapy for feeling like this but darnit, i am hurt and it reopens old wounds that i have been trying to heal for months.
True, i broke off the relationship but i was drowning in the web of craziness that was my ex and his family, once it was over i could breathe again.... It has been hard for me to open up about all the pain i feel inside....
I want to heal, i want to love again but i just feel stuck in a rut and i am trying my hardest to let go and i will get there... Amen!
I have been rejecting guys who want to go on dates cuz i have been too scared to open myself to the thought of such pain again! But then i can't find my prince if i don't open up! Who knows, maybe in all my silliness, i have lost him? I sure hope not!
I really want to be happy, i want to be love and feel loved ; i know that in order to love again i need to open myself to the possibililty of hurt again... i mean i must have gone nuts i think, i had run out of excuses... i sunk to a new low today, i got asked out and i flat out lied through my teeth, i mean, i couldn't even keep my story straight, i knew i was not believable.
But watching Oprah today coupled with scolding from friends, i have decided; this is the start of a new me, no more dwelling in the hurt of the past, instead i look forward to freeing myself first from my wahala... then who knows... i might have a love story to tell you guys someday!!
Phew!, that was deep.... I think i will call this blogi, "Letting Go"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment