On my recent trip to naija, there was a lot of drama right from when i arrived and sure enuf, on my way back home i faced some wahala!
Lagos-Ibadan expressway was so chaotic, i thought i was watching a movie... My brothers-in law were late picking me up from the airport because they were stuck in traffic around prayer city... luckily my sister was there to meet us, thank God she did because she was not planning to do so! After spending about 1.5hrs in the humid and conjested baggage claim area of mma, i got my bags and was about to leave.... The immigration or something ppl at the final door had to check and see if the bag i had was really mine by looking at some sticker right, well, i had two 'cases and only one sticker... seeing that i was alread pissed off at the crappy welcome, i was not in the mood to argue with him, so i told him " look, i dont have it but you can look at my name on the one i have and verify it with my passport. they are one and the same" problem solved right nooooo!! He was like no protocol this, that, i need the sticker, blah blah blah ,my friend who i was with could tell i was going to blow a fuse, she kept pulling at my hand and giving me the "u better not do it look" lol!
So i took a deep breadth and in my calmest voice i said " i don't have it, what would you like me to do?" The guy asked me to give him a bottle of coke to drink... i was like i don't have change, i am a student... He tried to keep at it but i was not bulging and after about 5 mins he let me go!
Opening the door to go outside was like walking into a suana in winter get up! I was so hot and irritated and people were pushing, why they were i don't know. I look up and i can't recognize anyone, then i hear my name "sisinaija" i turn and there was my older sister, she looked an angel who had come to save me... we walked to my friend's car and i immediately changed into a tee shirt, cus i had on a sweater, it was freezing in NY!
Finally my ride showed up after about 30 mins, we got in to the car and drove off. The roads were clear, wind was blowing through my hair, i was happy and content.
Yepa, little did i know that it was all about to end.... About 15 mins from the airport we started to slow down and my brother in law groans and turns to me and my friend ( she decided to ride with me to Ib) and said " we are in trouble."
I asked what was up and he said that we were about to beleive them, cus i really did not believe that they had spent 4hrs trying to get to mma. The traffic as we say had no head or tail and ppl were just going crazy... My brother in law decided that the best thing was to go thru the side bushes and make our way, thats what they had to do on their way!
The one thing wrong about that plan was that all the bus drivers, cab drivers and molues were also doing the same thing... wind no longer blowing my hair, hot and humid but we had not seen anything yet! We hit the rugged terrain and i was thinking to myself, your new suv will get dirty bro! Yeah if only dirt was all we had to worry about... the drivers and conductors attacked us, they hit the car and were spitting at the car all because my brother in law would not allow them to keep getting in front of him! My friend and i were shell shocked and all we could do was stare at the action and pray in our minds for God to please protect us! Abi after flying all the way without mishap, na road wahala we for suffer?hehehe!
My brother in law is an attorney,so he was like snap out of it and write down their plate numbers ( he was gonna get them in trouble)- don't know what he did eventually sha...
This traffic was so bad, we ended up on the opposite side of the road meaning the whole expressway was turned into a one way to ibadan, i could not believe it!! Finally mobile police came to the scene and started diverting traffic and within and hour we were able to cross back over and the road started clearing out!
I left the airport around 10am and got to ibadan around 230pm... the cause of the go-slow- as we call it(lol) was an accident that was blocking all lanes and then because of that the opposite direction was also affected! Wow- what a welcome!!!
On our way back we left way early to avoid any wahala and i ended up staying at the airpot for 3hrs before i could even check in for my flight! NO complaining there!
We had bought a lot of food stuffs to bring back with us to the US; a carton of indomie, maggi chicken, kari, egusi,ogbono, pepper, stock fish, and my favorite kilishi ( steak that has been spiced up and preseved-like suya but more delicious).
I mean, i had almost 3000naira worth of kilishi with me, a pregnant friend was craving it... and other ppl wanted it too!
On getting back to the land of the free, home of the brave- the question facing me was to declare or not to declare my food! Truth won, so i declared everything on the form and when it was my turn to be searched... i proudly opened my 'cases.
The immigration officer looked the egusi, and other like produts and did not remove them.... i thot phew... ohno! i heard him say "wuts that".. and i proceeded to tell him what kilishi was and how i loved it.. he was like hmmn, not allowed in to the US.. eeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhnnnnnnn!!!
No way it is preserved and healthy plus i am gonna eat it myself and since this is the land of the free, i am free to eat my poison,right? I talked and sweettalked but he was like no its gotta be trashed... to add to my pain he would not let me touch it, i asked can i eat it here, then? ... he looked at me, pulled the trash can over and shoved it all in there! yeyeyeyeye!! devasted is not the word!
Next he pulled my maggi chicken and kari and my knorr chicken and indomie and said "the US is trying to prevent the bird flu from coming in so anything with chicken in its ingredients gotta go! I was in shock... bb but these things are all sold in stores here for 50times the cost and you tell me i cannot bring them in? His response, take it up at washington!
I could not bring myself to blog about it, because i felt a personal sense of loss and hurt!! :-(
I was talking to a friend yesterday and somehow talked about grudges and our dislike for them and then i realised after talking with my friend with whom i flew, i needed to let go of the hurt and forgive the immigation officer.
So- sharply dresses immigration officer with a middle eastern background at jfk, i sisinaiaj forgive you!
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
Time has certainly gone by!
It's the 26th of the month, already, where has the month gone? If you ask me to tell you, i really can't say what i have done with my time this month.
It is spring break and i am off for three days from work this week... yippie right.. well not so much as the days off are wed,thur and friday!
I definitely do not want to stay here for the break but it's hard to go away during the week... Prolly will go up north of here. (lol)
I know finest city and all.. and i wanna leave this fine city when others are coming here for their sb!
I just want a change.. A good friend suggested that i go to Tijuana, Mexico... but i wanna do a fancier Mexico trip, so no i won't go to TJ.
Everything seems to be falling in place at school and work, well it's work..
I lost my voice yesterday and y'all know some freaks be calling us at night... well this one guy kept telling me my voice was the sexiest thing he had heard in a long time.. i could not help laughing at him, normally i would shut him down immediately but i was just tired and did not want to argue!
I had a fun time at church yesterday... i am in the choir right and i was stressing about the praise and worship.. on saturday during practice, i just could not focus and construct the flow... i gave up after a while and all night at work, i kept worrying how the worship would go!
Come sunday morning, i got back from work and i had to make a pot of fried rice for a baby shower.. remember i have not slept! Well i had forgotten to get liver and carrots and i needed some foil pans for the chicken and rice...
So i got to the store and they were closed, i think because i was doing things out of normal, i was a lot slower in my mind, i drove around in circles and went to four stores without getting what i needed...lol
Finally i was back where i started for the third time and it occured to me to go to smart and final, they had everything i needed and i could have just gone there in the first place but i was not thinking!lol!
So the fried rice turned out fabulous, the worship was excellent, the baby shower was great except that i crashed, fell asleep and missed half of the party, by the time i woke up my voice was gone!
It was fun night!
It is spring break and i am off for three days from work this week... yippie right.. well not so much as the days off are wed,thur and friday!
I definitely do not want to stay here for the break but it's hard to go away during the week... Prolly will go up north of here. (lol)
I know finest city and all.. and i wanna leave this fine city when others are coming here for their sb!
I just want a change.. A good friend suggested that i go to Tijuana, Mexico... but i wanna do a fancier Mexico trip, so no i won't go to TJ.
Everything seems to be falling in place at school and work, well it's work..
I lost my voice yesterday and y'all know some freaks be calling us at night... well this one guy kept telling me my voice was the sexiest thing he had heard in a long time.. i could not help laughing at him, normally i would shut him down immediately but i was just tired and did not want to argue!
I had a fun time at church yesterday... i am in the choir right and i was stressing about the praise and worship.. on saturday during practice, i just could not focus and construct the flow... i gave up after a while and all night at work, i kept worrying how the worship would go!
Come sunday morning, i got back from work and i had to make a pot of fried rice for a baby shower.. remember i have not slept! Well i had forgotten to get liver and carrots and i needed some foil pans for the chicken and rice...
So i got to the store and they were closed, i think because i was doing things out of normal, i was a lot slower in my mind, i drove around in circles and went to four stores without getting what i needed...lol
Finally i was back where i started for the third time and it occured to me to go to smart and final, they had everything i needed and i could have just gone there in the first place but i was not thinking!lol!
So the fried rice turned out fabulous, the worship was excellent, the baby shower was great except that i crashed, fell asleep and missed half of the party, by the time i woke up my voice was gone!
It was fun night!
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
I'm hiding from my hairdresser Part 2
I am sorry i have not finished this story but i was going through some things and i just need to laugh and get cheered up so what better way than to do that than updating my blogi!
Ok, so i left off at where Madam S finally got me to her house amidst all odds .. lol. She partitioned off a portion of her garage and turned it into a small cozy salon, but to get there you had to go through her living room which i quote directly as she said it " i don't know where you shoes have been so please take them off before entering my living room and put this slip -in on." Now you remember this was supposed to be a consult but apparently the reason she was spewing flames out of her ear was because the person who was supposed to be there cancelled their appointment and i was thinking, why are you taking your frustration out on me? You know common sense should have told me to run for my life, but i was somehow frozen (mumu alert!!) and i told her i would not mind doing my hair.... So she looked my hair over and then brought out a card and asked me to fill it out while she gave me her rules and regulations :
1. Do not come late
2. Do not bring any food or drinks to this place
3. Bring only cash - i was already guilt on this one: i don't carry cash!
4. Don't drive with the window down: it breaks your hair
5.Do not go swimming without hair protection
6.If you make an appointment for friday or saturday, don't bother calling to cancel, you will have to pay it anyway!
7. Do not use any other hair products except the ones i recommend.
.... By the time she was done, i was like "i don die ooo"...
Now ladies, i didn't know there was a proper way to sit in the chair at the hairdressers ooooo ! I was about to be schooled... Sitting in the chair, the cloth she put aound my neck half choking me, with the fear of man in my eyes, we were on our way..... She did not turn my neck this way or that like i thought she would, she wanted me to do it myself ??? she would say " can you not feel the direction i am pulling, and when i go in that direction she would yell and snap... " you are breaking my back, you are stressing me, you are the worst person to ever sit in this chair, you don't know how to position yourself, why can't you follow simple instructions" All this while i am seriously trying to do as she said but men, i was over powered, i was no match for her, so i just sat there and let her do her thing without a word!! I know mumu right?
On getting to the wash basin, which was located in her laundry room, that was the icing on the cake as in after pushing my behind far back into the chair like she said, i had to hold my head up for her and not push it back and not struggle with her, she just kept whinning.... well if she had space around the basin, she would be more comfortable i thought to myself!!
Then the flattening process, i think she burns people on purpose because i know there is a way for you to flat iron someone's hair without burning them, i mean my head kept zinging!! She blamed it on me of course and said i did not put my head right, i mean after you yap about something for a while and you don't get thru, just stop and adjust my head, but gently oo!! Lol
So we were done, my hair looked fabulous, it moved on its own and it was gorgeous.... But remember, i did not bring cash, so i got another lecture about that as well, but this time, i told her you know it was supposed to be a consult so don't blame for not bringing cash...
I went to an atm, got the cash, paid her and left....
I will write a couple more parts of this story later about people i referred and how they fared and more stuff on Madam S.... This was sisinaija reporting on true events!!! Lol
Ok, so i left off at where Madam S finally got me to her house amidst all odds .. lol. She partitioned off a portion of her garage and turned it into a small cozy salon, but to get there you had to go through her living room which i quote directly as she said it " i don't know where you shoes have been so please take them off before entering my living room and put this slip -in on." Now you remember this was supposed to be a consult but apparently the reason she was spewing flames out of her ear was because the person who was supposed to be there cancelled their appointment and i was thinking, why are you taking your frustration out on me? You know common sense should have told me to run for my life, but i was somehow frozen (mumu alert!!) and i told her i would not mind doing my hair.... So she looked my hair over and then brought out a card and asked me to fill it out while she gave me her rules and regulations :
1. Do not come late
2. Do not bring any food or drinks to this place
3. Bring only cash - i was already guilt on this one: i don't carry cash!
4. Don't drive with the window down: it breaks your hair
5.Do not go swimming without hair protection
6.If you make an appointment for friday or saturday, don't bother calling to cancel, you will have to pay it anyway!
7. Do not use any other hair products except the ones i recommend.
.... By the time she was done, i was like "i don die ooo"...
Now ladies, i didn't know there was a proper way to sit in the chair at the hairdressers ooooo ! I was about to be schooled... Sitting in the chair, the cloth she put aound my neck half choking me, with the fear of man in my eyes, we were on our way..... She did not turn my neck this way or that like i thought she would, she wanted me to do it myself ??? she would say " can you not feel the direction i am pulling, and when i go in that direction she would yell and snap... " you are breaking my back, you are stressing me, you are the worst person to ever sit in this chair, you don't know how to position yourself, why can't you follow simple instructions" All this while i am seriously trying to do as she said but men, i was over powered, i was no match for her, so i just sat there and let her do her thing without a word!! I know mumu right?
On getting to the wash basin, which was located in her laundry room, that was the icing on the cake as in after pushing my behind far back into the chair like she said, i had to hold my head up for her and not push it back and not struggle with her, she just kept whinning.... well if she had space around the basin, she would be more comfortable i thought to myself!!
Then the flattening process, i think she burns people on purpose because i know there is a way for you to flat iron someone's hair without burning them, i mean my head kept zinging!! She blamed it on me of course and said i did not put my head right, i mean after you yap about something for a while and you don't get thru, just stop and adjust my head, but gently oo!! Lol
So we were done, my hair looked fabulous, it moved on its own and it was gorgeous.... But remember, i did not bring cash, so i got another lecture about that as well, but this time, i told her you know it was supposed to be a consult so don't blame for not bringing cash...
I went to an atm, got the cash, paid her and left....
I will write a couple more parts of this story later about people i referred and how they fared and more stuff on Madam S.... This was sisinaija reporting on true events!!! Lol
Saturday, March 3, 2007
I'm hiding from my hair dresser!!
Happy March i have been so serious lately so i just wanted to lighten up a bit and laugh!!!
Ok, its a new month and i am thankful that i am here and for HIS blessings! You know i was in naija over the christmas break right and i so badly wanted to get tiny,tiny twisties done without breaking my bank so what better place than naija right? But for some reason i could not get myself to go to the hairdresser in IB. There were so many places, so i can't say there was not the opportunity, i can't say i was busy, hello i was on vaca right?
My older and younger sisters were like, lets go get your hair braided but i would make something up about why i could not make it. Slowly but surely the 18 day trip wound down to a saturday evening and i looked at myself thinking all my friends are gonna eat me alive when i get back to the states with my hair unbraided, because i had been bragging about it!! Heheeeee
Luckily for me, i went to naija with my friend J and we were supposed to stop over in NY, so i was like,J would hook me up with something!!
On coming back to the states, i finally told myself the truth about why i could not get my hair braided, and please don't take this unseriously because it is true.... I Sisinaija am afraid of my jamaican hairdresser!!!
There i said it. Now you wonder why i am afraid of her, well i will take you back to how it all started!!
I had this friend E in the navy who always sported fabulous hair and i asked her who it was she told me Madam S. I was like wow, that is fine! But i did not get converted.
My sis also in the navy, got a hairdresser's number from her friend and got her hair done and i was like wow... this is darn good, i mean her hair was silky and soft like oyinbo hair!! fo real! I asked for the gist and how much and the name and she said Madam S and i was like hmmmn, i don't know ooooooo
She was like go try her and see if you won't love your hair, well i did last year july. Now Madam S is a tough lady, retired military and all and i had heard she was hard core, but i was thinking "i am paying money for my hair, so she needs to be nice to me," right? I was wrong!
I called her up and asked for an appointment and she was like she needs to consult first.... i was like it's hair, but no, she wanted to know how badly i had been damaging my hair and what i would take for her to fix it.. Ok i obliged and took time just to go and have her look at my hair.... She gave me directions on how to get there and the directions got me lost, and late. I ended up calling this woman and asking her to just guide me there cuz i did not wanna waste anymore gas, this woman starts yelling at me, " i am busy, i don't like it when people show up late, it messes with my time, i don't need you, you need me" etc Hehehee Egbami ejjjjjjjjjooo!! This is not my mom ooooooo, this is a woman that i will pay money to! I could not believe my ears! Trust sisinaija to not take it lying down, i flipped on her and told her she could either stop screaming at me and guide me or i could just turn around and go back home and hang up on her... She calmed a little and came outside.. like ohh she had to drag herself out of a cave just to get there...
By this time, i had driven past her house like 10 times because she had kept saying small alleyway and i was looking for one "koro" that could not fit a car... Well, she goofed there cuz it was a back street that can comfortably fit two cars... Ahhhh ahhh!
I cannot finish this right now, i have to go to class but i cannot keep saving it, it's already the 7th!
I'll finish it later!
Ok, its a new month and i am thankful that i am here and for HIS blessings! You know i was in naija over the christmas break right and i so badly wanted to get tiny,tiny twisties done without breaking my bank so what better place than naija right? But for some reason i could not get myself to go to the hairdresser in IB. There were so many places, so i can't say there was not the opportunity, i can't say i was busy, hello i was on vaca right?
My older and younger sisters were like, lets go get your hair braided but i would make something up about why i could not make it. Slowly but surely the 18 day trip wound down to a saturday evening and i looked at myself thinking all my friends are gonna eat me alive when i get back to the states with my hair unbraided, because i had been bragging about it!! Heheeeee
Luckily for me, i went to naija with my friend J and we were supposed to stop over in NY, so i was like,J would hook me up with something!!
On coming back to the states, i finally told myself the truth about why i could not get my hair braided, and please don't take this unseriously because it is true.... I Sisinaija am afraid of my jamaican hairdresser!!!
There i said it. Now you wonder why i am afraid of her, well i will take you back to how it all started!!
I had this friend E in the navy who always sported fabulous hair and i asked her who it was she told me Madam S. I was like wow, that is fine! But i did not get converted.
My sis also in the navy, got a hairdresser's number from her friend and got her hair done and i was like wow... this is darn good, i mean her hair was silky and soft like oyinbo hair!! fo real! I asked for the gist and how much and the name and she said Madam S and i was like hmmmn, i don't know ooooooo
She was like go try her and see if you won't love your hair, well i did last year july. Now Madam S is a tough lady, retired military and all and i had heard she was hard core, but i was thinking "i am paying money for my hair, so she needs to be nice to me," right? I was wrong!
I called her up and asked for an appointment and she was like she needs to consult first.... i was like it's hair, but no, she wanted to know how badly i had been damaging my hair and what i would take for her to fix it.. Ok i obliged and took time just to go and have her look at my hair.... She gave me directions on how to get there and the directions got me lost, and late. I ended up calling this woman and asking her to just guide me there cuz i did not wanna waste anymore gas, this woman starts yelling at me, " i am busy, i don't like it when people show up late, it messes with my time, i don't need you, you need me" etc Hehehee Egbami ejjjjjjjjjooo!! This is not my mom ooooooo, this is a woman that i will pay money to! I could not believe my ears! Trust sisinaija to not take it lying down, i flipped on her and told her she could either stop screaming at me and guide me or i could just turn around and go back home and hang up on her... She calmed a little and came outside.. like ohh she had to drag herself out of a cave just to get there...
By this time, i had driven past her house like 10 times because she had kept saying small alleyway and i was looking for one "koro" that could not fit a car... Well, she goofed there cuz it was a back street that can comfortably fit two cars... Ahhhh ahhh!
I cannot finish this right now, i have to go to class but i cannot keep saving it, it's already the 7th!
I'll finish it later!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)