I just don't know!

As girls, we know when there is connection between us and a guy! At least i used to know what was up with a guy before he asked me out!
But lately my signal has been down and out... and i just don't know why!
When my last relationship ended, it seems like there were so many people who had been waiting for that to fall out cus they just kept coming at me and at that time i was like a slammed shut iron door.
It did not matter how fine a brotha was, i just did not want to know who the hell he was, i was not giving an inch to anyone!
I will admit that after a while, the brothas just left me alone and i was cool with that! I mean, i needed to get to know myself again and find out what was important to me and make myself the priority!
I had not written in a while before my last post when i just had to open up because i was taking a break, to tell you the truth, i was not sure if i should or could open up and write about these deep thoughts inside me!
I miss the care and attention from one's love! I don't mind being single and not attached but i miss not having someone that i can call my very own! I like to think of myself as independent, because frankly i don't like being inconvinienced or an inconvineice to others!
I realise that my schedule is very tight (this was done i think on purpose) and that i cannot spend the time to establsh a relationship with anyone right now, but as i write here i wonder why i can't have it all???
It is very funny that a lot of people think of me as wife material and nah, i am not ready to get married yet but i just want to not be lonely!
All of my friends are married or in a relationship and they are always trying to hook me up with someone or the other as per wife material now.. lol!
I went out to lunch the other day with a friend whose husband is deployed and another friend and it brought back old memories and made me realise, i was becoming a spinster! All i need is a cat! lol - it has been awhile!
As we sat there eating, i tried to think of the last time i did something like this and it was amazing as i came to the conclusion that instead of making myself the priority, i had been hiding behind psuedo-relationships!
See i have not allowed myself to feel anything for anyone or maybe i have been holding it back! I just don't know!
Most of the guys in my life right now are very good friends and my girls say there is something more but i think i have lost the ability to tell this kind of thing and i just don't know!
I have tried to disect every aspect of the relationships i have with these guys and i cannot seem to tell if there is anything more! I mean i like them, they are my freinds... but i cannot seem to tell if anyone of them is in deep-like with me!
I just don't want another frog... I am willing to wait for my prince and i am hoping that once he finds me, he will meet my criteria, because i now have one! I just won't date anyone anymore for dating sake! I just won't do it!
Anyone got any idea how i can get my satellite working again? I am all ears!