I was watching a recorded episode of "Girlfriends" on tv yesterday and that was so powerful, i had to write about it. Here let me set the scene for you!
Joan and her boyfriend (Aaron) decided to tell each other about their past relationships and be honest about their exes.... I thought to myself, next level baby! Well the wahala of this is that what Joan did not know was a guy she had once played nookie with who was married (keith) just happened to be Aaron's friend.
Ok, so once introduced Joan and Keith pretended not to know each other, but then Keith's wifey invites them over for dinner! I'm thinking Gbese!!!!
Joan talks it over with her girlfriends and decides to shove this one back in the closet and not tell Aaron. She was gonna sit there and act like nothing happened but you know she couldn't....
As they drive there, she breaks down and confesses to her sins.... Ahhh you should have seen Aaron's face, all i kept thinking was it's over, O ti paa danu.... You don kill am!! But to my surprise, he says to her," we are not breaking up and tells her the three words she had longed to hear from him all this while.... " I don't think you are a bad person, infact one of the most honest people i know and that is why i love you"!!
I mean, i cried along with her, sitting there on my couch wishing that in my last relationship my ex, he had just had the guts to be honest with me!!
It would have saved me a lot of heartache and pain.... Why can't people just get the fact that nothing is hidden under the sun and you cannot hide for long.
I hate liars and when you lie to the one you claim to love, it is like peircing a knife through their heart. Finding out that you have been played hurrrrts like hell.
My ex thought it was ok to lie about the minutest thing and for someone as gullible as i was, i thought i was in love and trust.
Had Joan not told Aaron the truth, once he found out, because YOU KNOW HE WOULD HAVE, she would have been screwed.
I have serious trust issues right now and i know i need to let it go ... wooossssssssssaaaa!! Am trying.
I have let him know i forgive him and i hold nothing against him anymore but i still need to write out how i feel about honesty.
Really, if you plan on not being honest with someone you love, then forget it because everyone involved will be hurt on some degree cuz of your LIES. It might be hard but you will feel so much lighter the minute you let go of the bags of lies you are carrying around.
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6 comments:
so true...my ex was a liar too.....dude would lie bout anything and a part of just continue to eat it up.....i think that whole relationship has affected me negatively cos just recently..my dad told me im secretive and defensive when dealing with men....who n ogo be defensive and secretive? if you give some of these fools an inch they just feed u crap.....lol..and no..im not a man hater..not yet. Im still holding out hope.
@ elle woods: thanks for stopping by. Keep the hope alive, good always trumps evil. It might take a while but our wounds will heal girl!
My dear past is past o!. I told my babe what we did in the past stays in the past and has no influence on the present. A lot of people can't handle their partners past activities so why look for trouble.
My babe doesn't know much about my past apart from tit bits she picks up from my friend's babes who met one or two of my ex.
Anyway sha I am now blogging about all my past relationships, I hope in time our relationship would have matured to such a stage that I can just give her the URL to the blog and she can read everything there.
@ Ubong da: thanks for stopping by! I beleive that if you truly love someone, you would want to be honest with them, if you guys decide to keep thing hidden then it's all good! Checked your blog out... nice
i guess at some point in our lives we will come across people who will betray us. however that shouldnt stop us from trusting again and am glad u said ur trying. most of my girlfriends have given up. and i think the only harm being done is to themselves.
and just to comment on ubong's 'past is the past', i dont think so. a person's character is very important. it is not a matter of new relationship, new slates, abeg whether it is dirty pencil he used to write the old relationship or clean. shiny one, i want to know. i cant just ignore your past, i need to know what i'm dealing with.
@ cee jay: thanks for stopping by, and i totally agree with you!
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